So it’s time for me to check in and tell about my journey in my own goals related to diabetes. I’ve made a promise to myself that I will no longer be hiding my diabetes, in fact I will be advocating more than ever.
I promised myself a little while ago that I would not be hiding my diabetes from others any more. But that doesn’t mean that its going to be the first thing I want people to think about me either. By this I mean, when I meet a new person I am not going to throw myself out there and say something like “Hi I’m Rachel, I’ve been diabetic for 12+ years. What is your name?”. Unless of course the situation allows.
Really my biggest problem has been hiding when I test and bolus or give insulin. I tend to hide away from everyone when I need to do something with my pump. I keep asking myself why. I know it definitely goes back to grade school when that lunch attendant told me that I couldn’t test at the lunch table. Or when I had friends who would sit at lunch with me and tell me how gross it is for me to test before they ate.
But you know what? I don’t really care anymore what others have to say about it. I have to do this. You can be as squeamish as you want but in the end I still have to do it. I have no choice!
So now it comes to the pump. Why am I so afraid to bolus in the open? I guess that sometimes I am just not in the mood to educate others on what I am doing. I need to change this mind set. So that is my next goal. When I need to bolus or deliver insulin, I am going to do it in the open. Let everyone see that I am indeed “not texting” or “playing a new video game” like they all think I am. I’m giving the medicine that I need to live, that is all.
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© Rachel Scott 2012
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